Spring Revitalization

As the weather warms up, and as we clean up our houses and prepare our patios and grills for cooking out, it is important to remember that we do the same with our lives. Even having written Weathering The Storm, I constantly find myself having to reenergize, revitalize, and restore myself and my attitude. Don’t think that just because I have the book that I don’t go through the journey with you – maintaining a positive attitude is really tough day in and day out, especially with some of the external circumstances and factors that can arise at any given time. It only takes one quick action or moment for your day, week, month, or life to be altered for better or worse.

With that being said, I thought I’d make a list of things I’m working on this spring, and hopefully you can take something away from the list for yourself.

#1       Eliminating Toxins

#2      Solidifying Personal & Career Goals

#3      Healthier Lifestyle

#4      Patience, Patience, Patience
#5      Don’t Forget The Little Things    

First things first, when I speak of eliminating toxins, I’m referring to anything toxic you may have in your life. Toxic friends, toxic associates, toxic habits, toxic lifestyles, and toxic environments – we always have to work to eliminate them and disassociate ourselves from them. I have had to work hard to even start doing this, and it is a continuous work in progress. It has taken me years to understand this concept, and even as I’ve grown and matured over the years, it is still not something easy to avoid. Nevertheless, I vowed to make it one of my principle grand master plan efforts. Now that spring is here – I’ve really kicked it into high gear. I think the most important thing I’ve learned with removing yourself from anything toxic is to avoid it in the first place. Toxic situations embed themselves in your life like a virus, and often require major (and sometimes debilitating) changes or alterations to remove them once embedded. Move yourself away from the gossip and bad attitudes, and those who encourage such. Even if you did it yesterday, we can all start today by shying away from these behaviors. Bad habits and routines, same thing – vow to break them. Also realize that anything toxic can also have an intoxicating feeling that goes with it – so removing it from your life won’t be easy. Take it one day at a time to change your ways, and move a step closer to becoming a better person everyday. Give it time. If you slip up, apologize and correct what went wrong. I’m human, you’re human – errors are in our essence. Consequently, errors should also act as a map to being a better and well-rounded person.

 Addendum: As you eliminate more toxins, you create a more favorable environment for you, your life, your health, and your personality to develop and grow.

One thing I also put my hardhat on for was laying a foundation and guideline for how I want my personal goals and career pathway to develop over the next couple of years. Granted, life will always find a way to throw a wrench into things, but I felt it was important to at least get myself angled into the right direction. Previously, I didn’t do myself any favors by being scatterbrained in my career goals or completing my tasks, and not having a roadmap for how I was going to complete them. This all created unnecessary stress, anxiety, and frustration for me – because I am impatient (more on that later) and like organization, yet had complete disarray in my objectives. This resulted in me being abrasive to my own self, and grinding my own self down. I sat down, laid out what I wanted to do and placed it against a timeline. Also, I decided that going forward any project, job, or investment I make must be something that works for me, that I am an excellent fit to do, AND allows me to operate at and above my full potential, otherwise I’m denying myself the chance to use my natural talents.  

For healthy lifestyle – I sometimes think this is the most overlooked aspect of any self revitalization we undertake, especially for me. Thankfully, I was blessed with a great metabolism, but I still overdo it with the chips, fried chicken, cheese, etc. Having to deal with hypertension at 26 really helped put the brakes on that somewhat, and the “bad foods” are terribly addicting so it has been a struggle. On the flip side – the days I do eat well, I feel ten times better. I have more energy, more alert, and more able to focus – in addition to feeling just a little bit lighter (more wind in the sails). Again, I have no choice but to adopt a step at a time mentality, and change little by little until I’m at the place where my diet is healthy everyday instead of once every 3 or 4 days. With more energy – you can exercise more or get out and do things you’ve been putting off (both apply to me). I have also noticed that when you eat somewhat consciously, your sleep cycle is more routine and natural. I am not a morning person at all, so I am sometimes over-reliant on coffee – which drives up your blood pressure, makes you anxious for no reason, and then throws your sleep out of cycle even when you only drink it in the morning. Reducing my dependency has been hard (I believe foods can be just as addictive as any drugs), but worth it, and all I can keep doing is try to move more and more away from it. Added benefit – more sleep, which also makes you feel much better. Get your sleep, take some downtime and don’t always overdo it or overexert yourself, and be sure to take a few minutes to relax, even when the going is rough. It really helps you and your outlook in the long run, especially if you get in the routine of doing this.

When I sat down and completed my personal SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) one of my biggest weaknesses is my lack of patience. This has been something I’ve worked on and worked on, and while I’ve gotten better, it’s still a major flaw. My lack of patience has gotten me in trouble more than once; overextending myself, rushing into bad decisions, making choices too abruptly, and so on. Part of the problem I’ve found is because I don’t have any patience with my own self, I can’t have any patience anywhere else in my life. If I were patient with myself, I would be comfortable letting things run their natural course knowing everything will be alright. Instead, when you are impatient with yourself (especially with the poorly assembled personal and career goals I mentioned earlier), you begin to develop a controlling mindset and subsequently “aggressive” actions – that is, you try to force things to happen in your life. As you can imagine, this aggressiveness usually results in disaster. I must learn that there is a difference in taking initiative and having a high work ethic versus trying to manipulate myself into the higher planes desired. This isn’t just for careers and endeavors either, it’s for everything. Relationships, businesses, projects, goals, ambitions, education – practice patience with yourself first, and then let it develop in all facets of your life. You might not be where you want to be or have everything you desire at the time, but know there is nothing wrong with taking a methodical pathway to success. Rewards will always come to those (even if in a form we don’t care for) who work hard, work tediously, and work continuously for their accomplishments.

If you’re like me, I can tend to overlook the little things in focusing on a grander prize, but the truth is our success as a person and in life is heavily reliant on making sure all of our little things are in order first. For a lot of us, the little things form our foundation – they make us who we are. It’s highly important they’re catered to as well – things such as spirituality, our daily routines, time management, our hobbies, social interaction, even something as simple as downtime to unwind and relax (vacation!). Perfecting a lot of those things works as a natural stress buffer and reliever for some. Getting closer into your religion and its practices, should you choose to, will often help you focus your attention on gratitude and appreciation versus all that may be going wrong. Not everyone will take this route, and if you don’t, be sure to find what in your life does bring you satisfaction and focus on building that – family, friends, hobbies such as gardening or reading – or as I’ve chosen to do, become active in the National Psoriasis Foundation advocating for psoriatic patients. Of course, we are all different, so these little things will vary from person to person and that’s ok – I did say these things make us who we are! Find your niche(s), and work to excel in them!

Keep pushing.

Keep growing.

Keep striving.

Keep your head up.

Keep living unconquered.

J. Junior

5/7/13

Instant Inspiration: Jimmy V

As someone who has struggled with psoriasis, I often find inspiration and motivation from those who struggle with chronic diseases of their own. Being employed at The James Comprehensive Cancer Center reinforces the struggles, pain, and losses ones can experience in battle with disease, and reinforces it everyday.

Part of my breakthrough in 2013 has been finding a treatment plan that works well for me and that I can easily incorporate into my life (home phototherapy treatments); this is often the case for anyone with a chronic condition. As with cancer, there is no treatment for psoriatic disease, but an excellent treatment plan can bring about “remission” of the disease – basically an eradication of the symptoms and side effects in this case. Because there is no cure – that’s only a portion of the battle.

Another part, sometimes the biggest and most complex aspect of “remission”, is recovering on the emotional and mental side of things. To do so, I believe it is important to heed the advice of inspirational epicenters – one of them being the late coach, James “Jim” Valvano. I am a huge fan of sports, so this name is a common one for me. For those who aren’t, Jim Valvano won the 1983 NCAA championship at North Carolina State before succumbing to cancer some decade later at the too-young age of 47.

Before his passing, he gave one of the cornerstone speeches in sports. Aching, ill, and with cancer having metastasized all over his body, he gave his motivational “Don’t ever give up” speech at the 1993 ESPY Awards. His mettle during one of the worst imaginable circumstances one can ever be presented with should give pause to us all – persevere no matter the situation, and not to ever give up.

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.” – Jim Valvano

We all have our struggles, and will encounter situations that create anxiety, stress, melancholy, pain, and turmoil. No matter what, I urge you to always handle them with class, with dignity, with humility, and with the mindset that things will improve with time, patience, and dedication.

Six things we can take away from Jimmy V’s speech to not only help us live unconquered, but to live life in general –
 

§                                      Remember where you come from

§                                      Know where you are headed

§                                      Enjoy your life, and the precious moments

§                                      Keep your dreams alive in spite of hardships, pressures

§                                      Work hard to make your dreams a reality

§                                      “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up”

Full Jim Valvano ESPY Award Speech

L | u

J. Junior II

Abracadabra Positivity

It’s been a while since I last posted, and since my last post, a new year has been ushered in for all of us. Whenever we begin our journey into a new year, I’ve found it important that we go into with a “clean slate” mentality. For those of us who have trouble finding a “starting” point for a lot of initiatives we want to implement in our lives, New Year’s Day is a breath of fresh air – hence the throngs of new year resolutions most of us enact.

In my experiences, I’ve found one of the hardest things to alter when we create our resolutions is mindset/ mentality. A lot of the times, when we do attempt to tackle mindsets and mentalities – we really only dress it up with a shiny coat of paint (versus the hard work – sanding it down, identifying imperfections and repairing them, then putting up a new coat of paint). After a while, if you add enough “new coats of paint” to anything without removing some of the old ones – blemishes will permeate through, and whatever you’re painting over will become weighed down.

Think about it – you can paint a pig green, but there is still a pig underneath. Cover it in yellow, and that green layer is still there, along with the pig itself. Proceed to cover it in red; the yellow and green won’t go anywhere unless you clean them off first.

One step in tackling adverse mindsets and mentalities is to indentify the root of the problem and why that mindset/ mentality exists. For example – you won’t just have grudges or prejudices just because (if you’re of a sane mind); they are either learned (taught at an early age) or developed by the examples of negative influences and environments. Maybe a terrible incident happened that created a grudge or a prejudice you hold, sometimes a misunderstanding can cause those feelings as well. The point – the negativity had a seed that grew. It must be uprooted and destroyed for it to dissipate. Visualize all pessimistic thoughts, mindsets, mentalities, and environments as your house in disrepair. To fix it, you can’t simply put up a few coats of paint and new shingles; you’re going to have to do some extensive construction and renovation to get it back to the pristine shape you want.

This is where the term abracadabra comes in. Abracadabra is a word very familiar to conjurors – as it is most often a word used by magicians in magical acts and performances. In elder times, it was a magical charm/ incantation that had the power to ward of disease, famine, or catastrophe of any kind. Unfortunately, try as we might, there is no magic or incantation of any kind that will snap you out of an unconstructive funk – only hard work, restructuring, dedication, and discipline will. You aren’t going to wake up and instantly have all the stars aligned and be this bright and completely optimistic person overnight – abracadabra positivity does not exist – it takes time so be patient.

Since we’re unable to instantly conjure up that state of perfect optimism, we have to draft plans on how to get there the old fashion way – a journey to success. Here are a couple of examples; the more detailed are just a couple of the ones I created for 2013, with a list you may find helpful afterwards.

- Eliminating hurdles present within my controlled environment (those who are voluntarily placed within your realm) – family, friends, associates, co-workers, church members, significant others, etc.

- Work on any physical things that can contribute to me not performing at my best – improving diet, new psoriasis treatment plan, significantly increase exercise, become less dependant on caffeine, vitamin supplements, etc.

- Narrow my focus onto my goals, principles, and objectives for 2013. This would include school, manuscripts for the next couple of books, continue to grow career, continue to professionally network in my career and writing fields, etc.

- In the words of the infamous magnet principle: remember that “like attracts like”. What I become, I will attract. With that in mind, grow in a pattern that will allow me to continue to attract positive/ constructive like-minded entities versus those of the unconstructive/ uninspiring/ stagnant nature.

- Mentoring

- Proctor for inspiring writers

- Volunteering

- Running

- Actively advocating (psoriasis)

- Writing more

- More involved with family & friends

- More extroverted (shake off your winter rust)

- Keep busy (draft daily agendas and objectives)

- Be (or become) more proactive versus reactive

- Be (or become) more aware

- Appreciate everything (and show it)

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. The biggest thing is to find something that brings you joy and peace within your life, because it assists with you disassociating with the negative. This can take time, but work on it everyday. Distancing yourself takes on a snowball effect, for the positive and the negative, just make sure you get the ball rolling in the right direction. 

Don’t focus on your anxiety – focus on your productiveness.

Don’t focus on your depression – focus on your gratitude of life.

Turn your eyes away from your fears – embrace change and flexibility.

Abracadabra positivity doesn’t exist – but permanent positivity sure does, and it’s ok if it takes a little time to get there; it’s worth the wait!

Live Unconquered.

1/26/2013

J. Junior II

October Updates

Now that Weathering The Storm has been released (August 28th), I am working to expand my footprint as a new author. This takes significant time and effort, but thus far I've made tremendous progress towards accomplishing all the goals I set. Part of this expansion includes establishing a presence on Goodreads (amazing site) and Amazon, and letting that presence trickle down from there. In the coming weeks, I will also have more information on niche events I'm planning to schedule in both Ohio and Virginia. All of the work I do now will serve as a major launching pad into 2013, which is usually how the life cycle of a book operates. In the meantime, here are a couple of links -

Goodreads, October Giveaway (will hold monthly) - http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/35579-weathering-the-storm 

Goodreads, Weathering The Storm page -
 http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15897883-weathering-the-storm

Goodreads, my author page -
 http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6496672.J_Junior_Reynolds_II

Amazon, Weathering The Storm seller page -
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1618627457/ref=dp_olp_0?ie=UTF8&condition=all

Amazon, my author page -

www.amazon.com/author/jjunior2

These pages are all still under construction, so will change a over the course of the next few months. If you'll note - Amazon lists the book at a $7.99 rate instead of the list $9.99 price - consider it a sale. Since these books will come directly from me, books purchased via Amazon will be signed.

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By the first day of 2013, my goal is to export my blog (Live Unconquered) to its own website. This will allow me more formatting and web creation freedom than I have under the Blogger domain, and offer a united website to post all my links (Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Twitter, Facebook, etc.). I have already started working on this project and look forward to completing it over the holiday season.

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With all eyes already focused towards 2013, Live Unconquered's mission will shift towards psoriasis advocacy. This was the foundation upon which Weathering The Storm was constructed, and is the true direction I would like to steer all of my future efforts. Of course, the topics will remain viable to everyone - but in working to create a "mission" for Live Unconquered (and my goal to make it more than just a blog), I will be using my fight against psoriasis as the bedrock for everything here on out. I plan to post the full official mission statement of L|u by Thanksgiving.

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Please keep updated on changes as I will be more active on the blog (and other websites) going forward, including a motivational/ inspirational writing towards the end of every month. As usual, stay positive, and make the most of everyday because tomorrow is no guarantee.

LIVE | unconquered

October 17th, 2012

J. Junior II

The Grand Master Plan

No matter who you are (or plan to be), whatever you’re doing (or plan to do), however you got there (or plan to get there) – you will always have a grand master plan that guides you. Even the most disorganized, scatter-minded individuals need some type of guideline, plan, or general outline for the current and future direction of their life, no matter how big or small the person may seem.

One of the things we all need to avoid when constructing either a new grand master plan (GMP) or updating an old one – do not allow past experiences and situations to have any influence on your GMP – learn from your mistakes; don’t let them control your future. Create a current assessment of your living situation, and go from there. Once a segment of time has passed (second, minute, hour, day, week, year, etc.), it cannot be changed – nor can any situation that happened in it. Move on, look forward, look up, look out.

Here’s a rough outline of the steps you must go through…

#1        Current Life Assessment/ Evaluation

#2        Construction of Goals, Targets

#3        Establishment of Time Guidelines

#4        Preparation for Launch Period

#5        Initiation of Grand Master Plan 

#1        Your Current Life Assessment – In this step, you’ll ask questions (and answer honestly) such as am I where I want to be? If not, how did I get to the place I am now? Am I living up to my absolute potential? Have I placed myself in a positive or a negative environment? Have I educated myself as much as possible? Am I satisfied with my current career/ job? Is my career/ job a boost to me or a drain of energy? Are my relationships a positive or negative influence?

#2        Construction of Goals & Targets – Once you’ve created a life assessment (which is really a list of honest questions we all should ask ourselves on a repeating basis), you can then move into the construction phase, which is where you create solutions to your problems so to speak. This is the largest, most energy consuming, and sometimes most difficult step of creating a new or updated grand master plan.

If you determined you aren’t where you want to be, this is where you make a path for how to get where you want to be in life, and examine what it will take. If you aren’t living up to your absolute potential, what resources will it take to get you closer to that goal? If you’ve realized you’re in a negative environment, come up with a way to get out of that environment. The same goes with if you determine your relationships are negatively influencing your life – find a way out. I’ve always been an advocate of the “life is too short” theory – yes removing yourself from negative areas you’re entrenched can cause even more turmoil short-term, try to think long-term. Never accept to stay put in areas full of stagnation, negativity, pessimism, indifferent, abusive, or detrimental ways of operation. This goes for your work, your home, your friends, your family, and your associates.

The atmosphere you place yourself in is a large portion of the reflection you cast to others – I learned (and am still learning) this the hard way. It can be hellish to snap loose of bad habits (or people), but once you’re truly ready for change in your life you will find it a lot easier to shake loose turbulence. You should also keep in mind that changes you enact to better yourself and your life aren’t selfish as long as they don’t actively seek to suppress others. Here’s a tidbit to go with that thought – divorcing a cheating or abusive spouse isn’t trying to actively suppress them. Neither is distancing yourself from a friend you know has a drug problem. If you find your current job is excessively stressful, unsatisfying, or causes you undue misery – what’s wrong with seeking a change? Don’t let misplaced loyalties keep you stuck in a place that misuses your talents or doesn’t let you operate at your absolute potential – and that goes for all aspects of your life.

When building your solution list, be realistic, but at the same time dream big. If you need more education, examine what resources are available to you to make it happen. Come up with an area you would like to expand your knowledge, and see what programs are offered in your area. Scan for free educational opportunities or advancement courses at your local community college. Attend any relevant job workshops. Look for leadership courses. Examine your community for opportunities to get involved – volunteering, organizations with agendas that interest you, advocacy for certain causes – there are a plethora of ways to expand your horizon. A bonus with expanding your horizons is you increase the chances of meeting more like-minded individuals to yourself.

As you create your construction goals & targets, be sure to think outside the box. Don’t be afraid to seek out help from your close and trusted resources to tailor goals/ targets just right for you and where you want to be. A note I’d offer is be absolutely sure you know where you want to be, or at least have an idea of the right direction to head, so that you aren’t overstretched reaching for too many targets. 

#3        Establishment of Time Guidelines – Once you’ve got the solutions in place for your master plan – you’ve determined where you want to be, who you want to be surrounded by, what you want to be doing, how to be doing it, etc. – come up with target dates. For example – maybe you’d like to have your degree in the next two years, and a masters within four years of that. Or – I’d like to be actively involved in at least two organizations in the community by the end of the year. A target could also be sometime along the lines of being surrounded by a more positive and supportive group over the next few months to help bolster my newly created grand master plan. Even something as broad as becoming a leader within the workplace within the next five years, and being in high-level management over the next decade; while these might not be concrete or have specific dates, they do offer you some guidance and direction over the course of your future and keep you directed towards continued growth.

An important note to remember is when you are building your timeline is to be sure to be realistic and give yourself ample time to enact your “solutions” to your “problems”. In the same token, don’t give yourself TOO much time – it only allows the opportunity to remain stagnant and procrastinate versus being continuously productive.

#4        Preparation for Launch Period – This is the most varying step in the grand master plan process. For some, this step could take a matter of days. For others, this step could take a couple of years. This is the time that you take to put yourself in position to roll out your new grand master plan. It could be the time you accumulate the necessary capital and support network to go back to school or start a new career. For some, this could be the time you take to pry yourself out of the negative environment you’re in. Sometimes, you can be so entrenched in disarray just the thought of moving towards a better day is a pain – which is why this period is included. You could be surrounded by stealers, liars, cheaters, and druggies and just need time to find a safe way out. You might even just need this period to clear your head, clear your thoughts, or ease your conscience to move forward. For some, this is the step where you will build the confidence to let yourself know you can move from a point A to a point B, and then to points C and D.

I can give a personal example to this effect. Right now, my Weathering The Storm grand master plan is in a holding pattern; awaiting the August 28, 2012 release date. The assessment is in place, I’ve constructed all my goals and targets, and timelines have all been put into place save the book’s release date. This hold pattern doesn’t mean I’m not working until everything is finalized, it just means I’m working behind the scenes to ensure once everything has been put in to place that it has been put in to place correctly, and that when I go to initiate my own new plan, it will implemented successfully. Take this step to double, triple, and quadruple check yourself. Keep track of everything you do in a journal and refer back to it to make sure you’re making the right – the best decisions for your present/ future. Also take this time to get those last bad habits out of the way. Get your last gossip in. Release your last bits of frustration. Get your last smoke in. Go and gorge yourself on food and alcohol one last time if you need to; but know that going forward there is no room for error, slip ups, relapses, or mistakes (especially ones previously committed). Get everything off your chest, and then put your adult outfit on and get ready to construct a better life for yourself. Once you know that you’re ready, initiate your countdown clock…

#5        Initiation of Grand Master Plan – Just like the countdown to a rocket launch, countdown to the initiation of your new grand master plan. This doesn’t mean you need to go out, buy all new clothes, a new car, a new house, and put yourself with all new people to announce your GMP. But you should see immediate change in routines, attitudes, reactions, and habits once your GMP has “gone live”. All of your defeats, poverty, complaining, disappointments, disabilities, failures, and sins of yesterday are gone – not forgotten, but no longer influencing your tomorrow. If your new GMP is one health related, such as weight loss, you will go forward with confidence, endurance, and discipline until your goals and targets are met (see how this applies across the board?).

Give yourself the new you and the new beginning you deserve. It’s only fair and another of the many ways to begin living life unconquered.

L|u

J. Junior II