I want everyone to know that you can win even when you lose. Victory can be had out of a defeat. It’s all in how you view your setbacks. Know that for every setback you suffer, there are numerous victories to be had.
#1 Don’t ever be discouraged.
#2 Let your setback strengthen your resolve.
#3 Carefully review your setbacks; do a full analysis.
#4 Once your analysis is complete, go over it.
#5 Take your analysis and mold it into a lesson learned.
#6 Stay prepared for the future.
#7 Construct a fail-proof game plan.
#8 Don’t let outside forces dictate your journey.
#9 After any setback, be sure you’re on a team with winners.
#10 If you find that #9 isn’t the case, realign yourself and your motives.
Let’s go through those steps one by one…
#1 Not letting yourself get down is the hardest part. Setbacks can be a blow to your pride more than anything. Here’s the bright side – pride is a sensitive son of a gun anyway. Pride is too superficial for you to put much stock into it – focus on your character. Character is more of the true you and it gets a giant boost every time you get beaten down.
#2 Strengthen your resolve and purpose. You can tell yourself, “yes I was defeated in this particular situation, but next time I’m going to come that much harder”. I’ve always used defeats to my future advantage; aka used a past stumble to mold the road to a future triumph. If you’re determined not to be held down, you won’t be. It can take longer than you’d like sometimes, but let your resolve and determination lead the way when your patience is non-existent.
#3 Time for a full comprehensive review. Be honest with yourself. Why did you fail? Did your environment hasten your defeat? The team you’re surrounded with? Outside forces working against you? While there are often adversaries working to suppress your goals, focus on self. That means taking accountability whenever possible. Don’t bemoan it too much; it’s perfectly fine to admit hey, I screwed up.
#4 Review, review, and review once more. Be sure your analysis is both accurate and honest. If you’re angry, depressed, shocked, or indifferent about your recent failure – revisit the analysis for a second look at a different time. Once your emotions have settled you will more than likely have a different outlook and opinion.
#5 Alright so you’ve went over your analysis and now you’re sitting and wondering what’s next. Time to mold that failure into a roadway for the future; that means learn from your mistakes and let them guide an easier path for your future. Often times, a failure is really meant to alter your focus to where it really needs to be versus where you think it should be. Change your priorities during this time if the need exists.
#6 You always need to be prepared for what lies ahead. Life goes on once you’ve stumbled; have a plan for what you do after the dust settles. This ties into #5 and building a roadway for the future out of your gaffe or setback. But in this particular instance, you not only need to learn from your mistakes and let them guide your future, you need to have your eyes on the horizon and ready for what comes beyond it.
#7 Use the analysis you created in step #3 to construct as close to a fail-proof game plan as you can. Be humble, precise, and rational; being a strong choleric personality I can tend to create a plan out of irritation, stubbornness, and sometimes being hell bent on revenge. Don’t do that, you are automatically setting yourself up for another failure if you do (TRUST me). Implement patience and intellect in any game plans you create; plans developed in foolishness and developed rashly will ultimately cause you to falter.
#8 While I always preach accountability I know that even if you’re 110% responsible, outside forces will sometimes be against you. You can be doing everything right and to the best of your ability and still fail. Unfortunately, we live in a world full of those who are miserable, who abuse their power, and who will shun you just because they can. All you can do is dust your self off, maintain your integrity, and try your hardest to put yourself in a position where outside forces (those above you, those around you, your environment, past actions, etc.) don’t directly affect your game plan(s). This step takes time but can be done with careful planning and keeping yourself enveloped with a winning team (aka the right people).
#9 Speaking of that winning team – examine yours everyday. Be around people who promote, are honest, support you, and are there during your down times to assist you. Be around those who would rather constructively criticize you than sugar coat the truth. Be weary of those who smile in your face but leak acid behind your back. One of my biggest flaws can sometimes be wearing my emotions on my sleeve as a choleric; but I feel it’s important to be honest and upfront on how you feel about situations (it’s all in your presentation; mine can suffer at times). That being said, always aim to present the most truthful presentation (this doesn’t mean be abrasive or condescending), be respectful, be open minded, and be welcoming no matter what. This will draw the winning teammates you desire to you without you even trying.
#10 So you’ve examined your team around you. This step involves making the necessary changes to both the team and the environment you’re in. I strongly believe that you cannot win in an atmosphere that promotes stagnation – no matter how hard you try. So if you’re in stagnation, indifference, suppression, or pessimism – chart a course and move yourself out of it. I’ve had to do it many times, and will many times more in the future. You cannot expect to win surrounded by losers and in a losing atmosphere; nor can you complain about it if you haven’t actively tried to relocate yourself. Don’t let fears of change deter you; don’t ever be scared of starting over if you need to. Sometimes that move could be just what you needed to get your fail-proof game plan underway.
Know that all of these steps won’t apply to everyone. Everyone’s case will vary except for completing an analysis of your situation. Sometimes this will be the first step, and you can then move into the other steps as you determine necessary.
My mindset on failures is that they are the coal to fuel your engine. Think of yourself as a locomotive – stumbling eventually results in you gaining steam down the road if planned carefully and properly. Be dedicated, motivated, and determined all the while realistic, rational, and knowledgeable. If you are, while it might take some time, you eventually won’t be able to help but live unconquered.
J. Junior II
April 24th, 2012
