Instant Inspiration: Jimmy V

As someone who has struggled with psoriasis, I often find inspiration and motivation from those who struggle with chronic diseases of their own. Being employed at The James Comprehensive Cancer Center reinforces the struggles, pain, and losses ones can experience in battle with disease, and reinforces it everyday.

Part of my breakthrough in 2013 has been finding a treatment plan that works well for me and that I can easily incorporate into my life (home phototherapy treatments); this is often the case for anyone with a chronic condition. As with cancer, there is no treatment for psoriatic disease, but an excellent treatment plan can bring about “remission” of the disease – basically an eradication of the symptoms and side effects in this case. Because there is no cure – that’s only a portion of the battle.

Another part, sometimes the biggest and most complex aspect of “remission”, is recovering on the emotional and mental side of things. To do so, I believe it is important to heed the advice of inspirational epicenters – one of them being the late coach, James “Jim” Valvano. I am a huge fan of sports, so this name is a common one for me. For those who aren’t, Jim Valvano won the 1983 NCAA championship at North Carolina State before succumbing to cancer some decade later at the too-young age of 47.

Before his passing, he gave one of the cornerstone speeches in sports. Aching, ill, and with cancer having metastasized all over his body, he gave his motivational “Don’t ever give up” speech at the 1993 ESPY Awards. His mettle during one of the worst imaginable circumstances one can ever be presented with should give pause to us all – persevere no matter the situation, and not to ever give up.

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.” – Jim Valvano

We all have our struggles, and will encounter situations that create anxiety, stress, melancholy, pain, and turmoil. No matter what, I urge you to always handle them with class, with dignity, with humility, and with the mindset that things will improve with time, patience, and dedication.

Six things we can take away from Jimmy V’s speech to not only help us live unconquered, but to live life in general –
 

§                                      Remember where you come from

§                                      Know where you are headed

§                                      Enjoy your life, and the precious moments

§                                      Keep your dreams alive in spite of hardships, pressures

§                                      Work hard to make your dreams a reality

§                                      “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up”

Full Jim Valvano ESPY Award Speech

L | u

J. Junior II

Abracadabra Positivity

It’s been a while since I last posted, and since my last post, a new year has been ushered in for all of us. Whenever we begin our journey into a new year, I’ve found it important that we go into with a “clean slate” mentality. For those of us who have trouble finding a “starting” point for a lot of initiatives we want to implement in our lives, New Year’s Day is a breath of fresh air – hence the throngs of new year resolutions most of us enact.

In my experiences, I’ve found one of the hardest things to alter when we create our resolutions is mindset/ mentality. A lot of the times, when we do attempt to tackle mindsets and mentalities – we really only dress it up with a shiny coat of paint (versus the hard work – sanding it down, identifying imperfections and repairing them, then putting up a new coat of paint). After a while, if you add enough “new coats of paint” to anything without removing some of the old ones – blemishes will permeate through, and whatever you’re painting over will become weighed down.

Think about it – you can paint a pig green, but there is still a pig underneath. Cover it in yellow, and that green layer is still there, along with the pig itself. Proceed to cover it in red; the yellow and green won’t go anywhere unless you clean them off first.

One step in tackling adverse mindsets and mentalities is to indentify the root of the problem and why that mindset/ mentality exists. For example – you won’t just have grudges or prejudices just because (if you’re of a sane mind); they are either learned (taught at an early age) or developed by the examples of negative influences and environments. Maybe a terrible incident happened that created a grudge or a prejudice you hold, sometimes a misunderstanding can cause those feelings as well. The point – the negativity had a seed that grew. It must be uprooted and destroyed for it to dissipate. Visualize all pessimistic thoughts, mindsets, mentalities, and environments as your house in disrepair. To fix it, you can’t simply put up a few coats of paint and new shingles; you’re going to have to do some extensive construction and renovation to get it back to the pristine shape you want.

This is where the term abracadabra comes in. Abracadabra is a word very familiar to conjurors – as it is most often a word used by magicians in magical acts and performances. In elder times, it was a magical charm/ incantation that had the power to ward of disease, famine, or catastrophe of any kind. Unfortunately, try as we might, there is no magic or incantation of any kind that will snap you out of an unconstructive funk – only hard work, restructuring, dedication, and discipline will. You aren’t going to wake up and instantly have all the stars aligned and be this bright and completely optimistic person overnight – abracadabra positivity does not exist – it takes time so be patient.

Since we’re unable to instantly conjure up that state of perfect optimism, we have to draft plans on how to get there the old fashion way – a journey to success. Here are a couple of examples; the more detailed are just a couple of the ones I created for 2013, with a list you may find helpful afterwards.

- Eliminating hurdles present within my controlled environment (those who are voluntarily placed within your realm) – family, friends, associates, co-workers, church members, significant others, etc.

- Work on any physical things that can contribute to me not performing at my best – improving diet, new psoriasis treatment plan, significantly increase exercise, become less dependant on caffeine, vitamin supplements, etc.

- Narrow my focus onto my goals, principles, and objectives for 2013. This would include school, manuscripts for the next couple of books, continue to grow career, continue to professionally network in my career and writing fields, etc.

- In the words of the infamous magnet principle: remember that “like attracts like”. What I become, I will attract. With that in mind, grow in a pattern that will allow me to continue to attract positive/ constructive like-minded entities versus those of the unconstructive/ uninspiring/ stagnant nature.

- Mentoring

- Proctor for inspiring writers

- Volunteering

- Running

- Actively advocating (psoriasis)

- Writing more

- More involved with family & friends

- More extroverted (shake off your winter rust)

- Keep busy (draft daily agendas and objectives)

- Be (or become) more proactive versus reactive

- Be (or become) more aware

- Appreciate everything (and show it)

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. The biggest thing is to find something that brings you joy and peace within your life, because it assists with you disassociating with the negative. This can take time, but work on it everyday. Distancing yourself takes on a snowball effect, for the positive and the negative, just make sure you get the ball rolling in the right direction. 

Don’t focus on your anxiety – focus on your productiveness.

Don’t focus on your depression – focus on your gratitude of life.

Turn your eyes away from your fears – embrace change and flexibility.

Abracadabra positivity doesn’t exist – but permanent positivity sure does, and it’s ok if it takes a little time to get there; it’s worth the wait!

Live Unconquered.

1/26/2013

J. Junior II

The Grand Master Plan

No matter who you are (or plan to be), whatever you’re doing (or plan to do), however you got there (or plan to get there) – you will always have a grand master plan that guides you. Even the most disorganized, scatter-minded individuals need some type of guideline, plan, or general outline for the current and future direction of their life, no matter how big or small the person may seem.

One of the things we all need to avoid when constructing either a new grand master plan (GMP) or updating an old one – do not allow past experiences and situations to have any influence on your GMP – learn from your mistakes; don’t let them control your future. Create a current assessment of your living situation, and go from there. Once a segment of time has passed (second, minute, hour, day, week, year, etc.), it cannot be changed – nor can any situation that happened in it. Move on, look forward, look up, look out.

Here’s a rough outline of the steps you must go through…

#1        Current Life Assessment/ Evaluation

#2        Construction of Goals, Targets

#3        Establishment of Time Guidelines

#4        Preparation for Launch Period

#5        Initiation of Grand Master Plan 

#1        Your Current Life Assessment – In this step, you’ll ask questions (and answer honestly) such as am I where I want to be? If not, how did I get to the place I am now? Am I living up to my absolute potential? Have I placed myself in a positive or a negative environment? Have I educated myself as much as possible? Am I satisfied with my current career/ job? Is my career/ job a boost to me or a drain of energy? Are my relationships a positive or negative influence?

#2        Construction of Goals & Targets – Once you’ve created a life assessment (which is really a list of honest questions we all should ask ourselves on a repeating basis), you can then move into the construction phase, which is where you create solutions to your problems so to speak. This is the largest, most energy consuming, and sometimes most difficult step of creating a new or updated grand master plan.

If you determined you aren’t where you want to be, this is where you make a path for how to get where you want to be in life, and examine what it will take. If you aren’t living up to your absolute potential, what resources will it take to get you closer to that goal? If you’ve realized you’re in a negative environment, come up with a way to get out of that environment. The same goes with if you determine your relationships are negatively influencing your life – find a way out. I’ve always been an advocate of the “life is too short” theory – yes removing yourself from negative areas you’re entrenched can cause even more turmoil short-term, try to think long-term. Never accept to stay put in areas full of stagnation, negativity, pessimism, indifferent, abusive, or detrimental ways of operation. This goes for your work, your home, your friends, your family, and your associates.

The atmosphere you place yourself in is a large portion of the reflection you cast to others – I learned (and am still learning) this the hard way. It can be hellish to snap loose of bad habits (or people), but once you’re truly ready for change in your life you will find it a lot easier to shake loose turbulence. You should also keep in mind that changes you enact to better yourself and your life aren’t selfish as long as they don’t actively seek to suppress others. Here’s a tidbit to go with that thought – divorcing a cheating or abusive spouse isn’t trying to actively suppress them. Neither is distancing yourself from a friend you know has a drug problem. If you find your current job is excessively stressful, unsatisfying, or causes you undue misery – what’s wrong with seeking a change? Don’t let misplaced loyalties keep you stuck in a place that misuses your talents or doesn’t let you operate at your absolute potential – and that goes for all aspects of your life.

When building your solution list, be realistic, but at the same time dream big. If you need more education, examine what resources are available to you to make it happen. Come up with an area you would like to expand your knowledge, and see what programs are offered in your area. Scan for free educational opportunities or advancement courses at your local community college. Attend any relevant job workshops. Look for leadership courses. Examine your community for opportunities to get involved – volunteering, organizations with agendas that interest you, advocacy for certain causes – there are a plethora of ways to expand your horizon. A bonus with expanding your horizons is you increase the chances of meeting more like-minded individuals to yourself.

As you create your construction goals & targets, be sure to think outside the box. Don’t be afraid to seek out help from your close and trusted resources to tailor goals/ targets just right for you and where you want to be. A note I’d offer is be absolutely sure you know where you want to be, or at least have an idea of the right direction to head, so that you aren’t overstretched reaching for too many targets. 

#3        Establishment of Time Guidelines – Once you’ve got the solutions in place for your master plan – you’ve determined where you want to be, who you want to be surrounded by, what you want to be doing, how to be doing it, etc. – come up with target dates. For example – maybe you’d like to have your degree in the next two years, and a masters within four years of that. Or – I’d like to be actively involved in at least two organizations in the community by the end of the year. A target could also be sometime along the lines of being surrounded by a more positive and supportive group over the next few months to help bolster my newly created grand master plan. Even something as broad as becoming a leader within the workplace within the next five years, and being in high-level management over the next decade; while these might not be concrete or have specific dates, they do offer you some guidance and direction over the course of your future and keep you directed towards continued growth.

An important note to remember is when you are building your timeline is to be sure to be realistic and give yourself ample time to enact your “solutions” to your “problems”. In the same token, don’t give yourself TOO much time – it only allows the opportunity to remain stagnant and procrastinate versus being continuously productive.

#4        Preparation for Launch Period – This is the most varying step in the grand master plan process. For some, this step could take a matter of days. For others, this step could take a couple of years. This is the time that you take to put yourself in position to roll out your new grand master plan. It could be the time you accumulate the necessary capital and support network to go back to school or start a new career. For some, this could be the time you take to pry yourself out of the negative environment you’re in. Sometimes, you can be so entrenched in disarray just the thought of moving towards a better day is a pain – which is why this period is included. You could be surrounded by stealers, liars, cheaters, and druggies and just need time to find a safe way out. You might even just need this period to clear your head, clear your thoughts, or ease your conscience to move forward. For some, this is the step where you will build the confidence to let yourself know you can move from a point A to a point B, and then to points C and D.

I can give a personal example to this effect. Right now, my Weathering The Storm grand master plan is in a holding pattern; awaiting the August 28, 2012 release date. The assessment is in place, I’ve constructed all my goals and targets, and timelines have all been put into place save the book’s release date. This hold pattern doesn’t mean I’m not working until everything is finalized, it just means I’m working behind the scenes to ensure once everything has been put in to place that it has been put in to place correctly, and that when I go to initiate my own new plan, it will implemented successfully. Take this step to double, triple, and quadruple check yourself. Keep track of everything you do in a journal and refer back to it to make sure you’re making the right – the best decisions for your present/ future. Also take this time to get those last bad habits out of the way. Get your last gossip in. Release your last bits of frustration. Get your last smoke in. Go and gorge yourself on food and alcohol one last time if you need to; but know that going forward there is no room for error, slip ups, relapses, or mistakes (especially ones previously committed). Get everything off your chest, and then put your adult outfit on and get ready to construct a better life for yourself. Once you know that you’re ready, initiate your countdown clock…

#5        Initiation of Grand Master Plan – Just like the countdown to a rocket launch, countdown to the initiation of your new grand master plan. This doesn’t mean you need to go out, buy all new clothes, a new car, a new house, and put yourself with all new people to announce your GMP. But you should see immediate change in routines, attitudes, reactions, and habits once your GMP has “gone live”. All of your defeats, poverty, complaining, disappointments, disabilities, failures, and sins of yesterday are gone – not forgotten, but no longer influencing your tomorrow. If your new GMP is one health related, such as weight loss, you will go forward with confidence, endurance, and discipline until your goals and targets are met (see how this applies across the board?).

Give yourself the new you and the new beginning you deserve. It’s only fair and another of the many ways to begin living life unconquered.

L|u

J. Junior II

Even In Defeat

I want everyone to know that you can win even when you lose. Victory can be had out of a defeat. It’s all in how you view your setbacks. Know that for every setback you suffer, there are numerous victories to be had.

#1        Don’t ever be discouraged.

#2        Let your setback strengthen your resolve.

#3        Carefully review your setbacks; do a full analysis.

#4        Once your analysis is complete, go over it.

#5        Take your analysis and mold it into a lesson learned.

#6        Stay prepared for the future.

#7        Construct a fail-proof game plan.

#8        Don’t let outside forces dictate your journey.

#9        After any setback, be sure you’re on a team with winners.

#10      If you find that #9 isn’t the case, realign yourself and your motives.

Let’s go through those steps one by one…

#1        Not letting yourself get down is the hardest part. Setbacks can be a blow to your pride more than anything. Here’s the bright side – pride is a sensitive son of a gun anyway. Pride is too superficial for you to put much stock into it – focus on your character. Character is more of the true you and it gets a giant boost every time you get beaten down.

#2        Strengthen your resolve and purpose. You can tell yourself, “yes I was defeated in this particular situation, but next time I’m going to come that much harder”. I’ve always used defeats to my future advantage; aka used a past stumble to mold the road to a future triumph. If you’re determined not to be held down, you won’t be. It can take longer than you’d like sometimes, but let your resolve and determination lead the way when your patience is non-existent.

#3        Time for a full comprehensive review. Be honest with yourself. Why did you fail? Did your environment hasten your defeat? The team you’re surrounded with? Outside forces working against you? While there are often adversaries working to suppress your goals, focus on self. That means taking accountability whenever possible. Don’t bemoan it too much; it’s perfectly fine to admit hey, I screwed up.

#4        Review, review, and review once more. Be sure your analysis is both accurate and honest. If you’re angry, depressed, shocked, or indifferent about your recent failure – revisit the analysis for a second look at a different time. Once your emotions have settled you will more than likely have a different outlook and opinion.

#5        Alright so you’ve went over your analysis and now you’re sitting and wondering what’s next. Time to mold that failure into a roadway for the future; that means learn from your mistakes and let them guide an easier path for your future. Often times, a failure is really meant to alter your focus to where it really needs to be versus where you think it should be. Change your priorities during this time if the need exists.

#6        You always need to be prepared for what lies ahead. Life goes on once you’ve stumbled; have a plan for what you do after the dust settles. This ties into #5 and building a roadway for the future out of your gaffe or setback. But in this particular instance, you not only need to learn from your mistakes and let them guide your future, you need to have your eyes on the horizon and ready for what comes beyond it.

#7        Use the analysis you created in step #3 to construct as close to a fail-proof game plan as you can. Be humble, precise, and rational; being a strong choleric personality I can tend to create a plan out of irritation, stubbornness, and sometimes being hell bent on revenge. Don’t do that, you are automatically setting yourself up for another failure if you do (TRUST me). Implement patience and intellect in any game plans you create; plans developed in foolishness and developed rashly will ultimately cause you to falter.

#8        While I always preach accountability I know that even if you’re 110% responsible, outside forces will sometimes be against you. You can be doing everything right and to the best of your ability and still fail. Unfortunately, we live in a world full of those who are miserable, who abuse their power, and who will shun you just because they can. All you can do is dust your self off, maintain your integrity, and try your hardest to put yourself in a position where outside forces (those above you, those around you, your environment, past actions, etc.) don’t directly affect your game plan(s). This step takes time but can be done with careful planning and keeping yourself enveloped with a winning team (aka the right people).

#9        Speaking of that winning team – examine yours everyday. Be around people who promote, are honest, support you, and are there during your down times to assist you. Be around those who would rather constructively criticize you than sugar coat the truth. Be weary of those who smile in your face but leak acid behind your back. One of my biggest flaws can sometimes be wearing my emotions on my sleeve as a choleric; but I feel it’s important to be honest and upfront on how you feel about situations (it’s all in your presentation; mine can suffer at times). That being said, always aim to present the most truthful presentation (this doesn’t mean be abrasive or condescending), be respectful, be open minded, and be welcoming no matter what. This will draw the winning teammates you desire to you without you even trying.

#10      So you’ve examined your team around you. This step involves making the necessary changes to both the team and the environment you’re in. I strongly believe that you cannot win in an atmosphere that promotes stagnation – no matter how hard you try. So if you’re in stagnation, indifference, suppression, or pessimism – chart a course and move yourself out of it. I’ve had to do it many times, and will many times more in the future. You cannot expect to win surrounded by losers and in a losing atmosphere; nor can you complain about it if you haven’t actively tried to relocate yourself. Don’t let fears of change deter you; don’t ever be scared of starting over if you need to. Sometimes that move could be just what you needed to get your fail-proof game plan underway.

Know that all of these steps won’t apply to everyone. Everyone’s case will vary except for completing an analysis of your situation. Sometimes this will be the first step, and you can then move into the other steps as you determine necessary.

My mindset on failures is that they are the coal to fuel your engine. Think of yourself as a locomotive – stumbling eventually results in you gaining steam down the road if planned carefully and properly. Be dedicated, motivated, and determined all the while realistic, rational, and knowledgeable. If you are, while it might take some time, you eventually won’t be able to help but live unconquered.

J. Junior II

April 24^th, 2012