Chasing Oranges (When You Need Apples...)

This blog is all about the pursuit of what you want versus what you need. It’s about the chase of your desires versus what you really need that could improve your life.  It is my belief that a large portion of our life’s regrets are built on this chasing oranges when you need apples policy, and it distracts from our ultimate mission of living unconquered.

First and foremost, know what oranges in your life are. They can vary from person to person depending on your circumstances, situations, etc. Something that is an “orange” for someone could be an “apple” for another person. Oranges in this concept are things that detract from your ultimate mission – living unconquered. Things such as unethical behaviors, actions, and routines, shortcuts and quick fixes, lies and dishonesty, greed, personal satisfactions that cause harm to yourself or others, cheating, you kind of get the idea.

The saying an apple a day keeps the doctor away is very true in this concepts. The apples in my concept aren’t the fruits a lot of us like, but these “apples” in life are those foundation things in your life that promote success, happiness, and long term stability. Honesty, hard work, dedication, loyalty, fidelity, and discipline just to name a few.

We’ve all been there. I can speak from my college days, when like most of us, you had to spend wisely but often times didn’t. Do I blow my money on school supplies, or do I prepare for a big party weekend? A new shirt, new kicks, and if you know me – a new bottle of cologne because no amount is never enough, not to mention the array of college party supplies (I’ll leave it at that). More often than not, that big party weekend won out.  That was me putting a Thursday – Saturday weekend over a couple month long semester. I chased an orange (temporary satisfaction) versus buying into an apple (long term investment).

It’s the putting your wants before your needs. We all want a nice new Mercedes-Benz, a trillion dollar house, a high and fly wardrobe – but at what costs? To be in debt up to our eye sockets? This same theory in a way explains the state of America’s economy, and what’s really a shame is our failing to acknowledge that chasing dreams is partially responsible for this. We all want more salary for less work, more benefits, a bigger office and more space, yet a lot of times can still live vastly above our means and accrue dangerously high debts. Chasing oranges, when an apple would do. Chasing grandeur when above average is nothing to be ashamed of…

This theory also applies for those who lose sight of what is better for them. We all get off track on certain things in our life at one point or another. It can be in our careers, our goals, our relationships, our families, and our friends. Instead of being content with the apple in front of us (in any of these situations), an orange can come along and derail everything. No matter what circumstance, don’t feel like you’re settling. Appreciate what is in front of you; be content and don’t overreach. As most of us find out – the grass is never greener on the other side, and in the event it is, it needs ten times the care to keep it that way.

To expand on the paragraph above – I’ll give a personal reference. I start to feel stagnant in any job after about six months (which would explain why I’m 25 and had more jobs than some will have their entire life). I get tired of the same old type of apple after that time, and of course, a more appetizing orange will rear its head. When I was younger, I would take the bait every single time, and sometimes end up in a job I didn’t particular like or a job that was great but didn’t give me any opportunity to grow. Sometimes, that “orange” would be a higher salary and me thinking, “oh yes the grass is a lot better over there than here…” – which is never truly the case.  I’ve always worked with great people, and more often than not under a great boss - and sometimes chasing an orange damaged bridges and work relationships.

This is not to say we should never fall to this concept, because honestly a lot of those chasing oranges moments I had prove to be excellent learning opportunities. I always say you learn the most in life from your mistakes, and errors like this often give you the opportunity to correct flaws with you/ your life. Moreover, you don’t ever want to find yourself in a circumstance where the damage from chasing that ripe, acidic orange outweighs the lesson(s) in life you took from the mistake. Stay focused on what is important, what helps your life in a positive manner in the long term, and don’t fall prey to short term fixes/ desires/ wants. Analyze every situation presented to you, and always be aware of your environment so you can make educated decisions. Keep your gaze on your goals and projects; the positive and life-constructing realistic ones – not those wild and crazy half bait ones!

Not too long ago my grandmother and I – the ever wise Eunice Oracle as I like to call her, discussed this same theory as it relates to getting lost off your journey in life. Visualize it’s sweltering outside, and over the hill lies your grove of apple trees. Though it’s been a hot miserable summer, they’re loaded down to the ground. As you wander along your path in life, just before getting to the steep climb of the hill to your grove, you come across a patch of ripened orange trees. What would you do? Keep moving up the steep hike to that what is yours? Do you put in hard work to do what’s right, or drop everything to take a shortcut and succumb to the oranges that aren’t yours?

Doesn’t that sound like situations we face all the time? The scene or the circumstance might vary, but most of the time it all boils down to doing what is right against doing what is wrong but will bring us a short-lived boost in satisfaction. Always plan for your long-term well being. Don’t take shortcuts, don’t succumb to dishonesty or unjust ways of thinking. It might be painful in the short-term or you may have to work a little harder, but that hard work for tomorrow can reduce a lifetime of regret down the road. Even in the times when oranges are numerous and apples are few – keep your eyes fixated on the right side of your journey.

To truly live unconquered, you always want to be in control of your life, and not have it vulnerable to outside forces that you can’t control (that can cause things to unravel quickly and you unable to stop them). One way to maintain control is to not fall for those oranges; when they appear be content with your bedrock diet of apples instead.

Until the next time, may your crops of apples be plentiful.

J. Junior II
March 4^th, 2012

Shaking Off The Dust

Shaking Off The Dust

As we wrap up the first month in 2012, one common theme I am hearing is the deterioration of our New Year resolutions. For whatever reason, we’ve just gotten off the path we set before we brought in 2012.

Don’t worry, because you don’t need it to be a new year to set goals for yourself. Set realistic goals. Start small, stick to the course, and them grow them. Let one goal transform and develop into others. If you want to eat better, start one thing at a time. We can’t go from a diet of cookies, Pringles, and coke to salads and water overnight. Set a goal to replace things overtime and wean yourself away from whatever is bad. Same thing for removing bad habits; take it a day at a time, wean yourself down first and decrease your dependency on things that are bad for you. Looking to lose weight? Start with a pound or so a week. As your energy begins to increase from the weight loss, up the ante to a pound and a half a week. See what I mean?

One small goal I’d like to set for you is that you develop a monthly word of encouragement/ optimism for yourself. As you move into February, use the word “wonderful”.  

<<< Wonderful >>>

Let my month be wonderful – therefore I’ll need to make everyday of the month wonderful. Not only that, I’m going to make the month wonderful for those around me. I will operate in a way so that not only is February wonderful, so is the rest of 2012. My walk, my talk; I will be wonderful.

I put that paragraph in italics because I want you to use that paragraph when developing your word of the month from March 2012 on. It should fit into that paragraph in place of wonderful (it can also be a phrase in some cases). For example let’s replace wonderful with positive.

Let my month be positive – therefore I’ll need to make everyday of the month positive. Not only that, I’m going to make the month positive for those around me. I will operate in a way so that not only is February positive, so is the rest of 2012. My walk, my talk; I will be positive.

If you want to replace that word with things that are negative, that’s fine too, but you better read the paragraph aloud to you with that negative adjective and know that’s the image you are portraying. For example -          

Let my month be trifling – therefore I’ll need to make everyday of the month trifling. Not only that, I’m going to make the month trifling for those around me. I will operate in a way so that not only is February trifling, so is the rest of 2012. My walk, my talk; I will be trifling.

Get my drift?

As this blog is so titled – a lot of the times we don’t really need that new year’s resolution, we just need to shake off the dust and revive ourselves. Looking at myself, I know that one of my bad habits is trying to compare myself to how I was in days long past, for good or for bad. Unfortunately, the past is just that, the past. What we can tend to overlook in yearning for things to be like they were in the “good ole’ days” is the problems that came along with them; we just don’t happen to recall them.

There is nothing wrong with recapturing your glory, but aim to recapture it in the present year and not mirroring days long gone (or projecting into the future). If it’s a different time, then you are (at least should be) a different person. The circumstances could have been vastly different; your environment could have been vastly different. If you feel like you’ve gotten dusty, then try self-revitalization activities. Chat it up with friends (new and old, reestablish friendships), try new hobbies (volunteering, intramural sports, habitat for humanity, etc.), make sure you are appreciative (of your life, your surroundings, of what you do have, your friends, your family, etc), or dedicating yourself (to a cause, to a project, to your work – just don’t overdo it and strain yourself). Don’t center your focus on just your physical; being consumed with that can detract from what really may need fixed – your mental, your spirit, your intellect, etc.

We all will have eras in life that we get stagnant and start to collect dust. The best advice I can give you is to put yourself back into action and move. Move your feet, move your mind, move yourself into a new environment, and most importantly don’t cower from change or the rain in life – they both are excellent removers of dust and rust.

Until the next time –

J. Junior II
January 23^rd, 2012

Facing All Challenges

It has been far too long since my last post; but I had to take a hiatus in order to complete several other projects going on all at the same time. Now that I'm back in action, the first topic I'd like to address on my return is the idea of challenges (and if you must, challengers).

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chal·lenge (noun) 1. a call or summons to engage in any contest, as of skill, strength, etc.; 2. something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc; 3. a call to fight, as a battle, a duel, etc.; 4. a demand to explain, justify, etc.: a challenge to the treasurer to itemize expenditures.; 5. difficulty in a job or undertaking that is stimulating to one engaged in it.

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The emboldened definitions are the ones I want you to focus on, in particular the difficulty in a job or undertaking. Life is a funny thing. Everyday of it is a gift, yet there can be those days that come with a set of challenges that push you to the brink; that sometimes can make just being alive seem like a burden unto itself. The thing is no matter what you are going through, your goal should be to just keep living, keep perservering. Rise up and answer the call - face your challenges, your obstacles, your impediments, and your nay-sayers face on. Don't let anything distract your efforts and that which you are out to accomplish. To help with the process - here is a five step guide I've created to help you overcoming and move forward.


>>> IDENTIFY - Be aware and know what challenges you have faced (past), what challenges you are in the midst of (present), and what challenges could arise in the time ahead (future). You'll have the mindset of being currently aware, the knowledge gained from your past tribulations, and the ability to prepare for your obstacles on the horizon. Sit and ask yourself, what are my challenges? Always be honest. Get out a note pad and write an outline. What are your challenges, and what are the ROOTS of those challenges (the causes/ instigators/ agitators). Be thorough, and be truthful; that is the only way any progress can be made - shatter any denial(s).

>>> RESOLUTION - Come up with a game plan. How will you get out? Who can/ will help you get survive the challenge? What do you need to do to fix the situation? When can the problem be fixed (and be realistic...)? Set goals and timelines. Have a starting point, and a finishing point. Know where you are, and where you want to be so you can monitor your progress. Don't be afraid to "coach" your way out of turmoil. Be methodical and thoughful; not rash and irrational. Sometimes moving out of a predicament can be tough, but be up to the task. Again, be realistic with your goal setting. Garnish all the help and positive influences you can - let your family and friends know your plans (you need support to succeed).


>>> EFFORT - This is an important key before you initate your plans. You must put yourself in a positive mindset, and gather your strength. It's not just enough to come up with a solution to your challenges, you've got to get ready to implement them and that takes work. Rallying your supporters to help you is a vital step in both creating a resolution, but in putting that plan into place as well. Get yourself in the shape you need - mentally, physically, and emotionally. Exercise, it'll help with all three. De-stress by finding hobbies you enjoy and gravitate your mind away from your problems. Stimulate yourself - don't just lay stagnant without anything to do - all that does it leave your mind fixated on your problems.


>>> IMPLEMENTATION - Devising the remedy isn't the end of the story. Just like a New Year's Resolution isn't enough - you have to actually follow through with it and that's where a lot of people slip up. Moreover, you can't just start down the road, quit halfway (or give a mediocre effort) and think you're going to get to the end of the road. You've got to give your solutions your all, and dedicate to becoming better/ overcoming the challenge. Enact your solutions, and stick through them thick and thin. You can't falter, you can't quit, and you can't put up a sorry effort towards your plan. Create a journal and keep track of your progress and to take general notes. Do a check up and evaluation with your support group, have them help you monitor your progress.

>>> PROGRESS MANAGEMENT & SUSTAINING - So you've put in the hard work, you've singled out your challenges and what is causing them. You created a solution/ way out; built your effort up, and then begin putting your plans in place. So now what? Now comes the really hard part - continuing to make progress. Maintaining and sustaining can sometimes be the hardest things you do when you're on the upswing. Too often we let ourselves plateau or "coast" once we've hit a certain point. Don't let yourself get into that phase because before you know it, you can begin going in reverse. Effort and implementation will continue through this stage, you will constantly need to revitalize your effort and re-implement your game plans. The notes of progress should continue, and every so often you should create a new outline, a new starting point, and a new ending point just to stay fresh. If you're having a hard time and feel like you've hit a ceiling at any point - consider it a new challenge and restart the whole process from step one. It won't be the end of the world if you occasionally stumble, just keep notes in your journal/ outline you've created on whatever happened, and come up with ways to avoid it from happening again. We're all only human; to hold yourself to any higher regard and seek out absolute perfection is a mistake in itself.

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Challenges in your life will arise all the time. Just when you think you've conquered one thing, three more will pop up in their place. It's all about managing them, taking them in stride, then constructing your way either out or around. Being a champion or someone who succeeds does not mean you will go without struggles - keep in mind that every set of situations or circumstances can present it's own unique challenges (which is why you should always be careful about what you wish for). Difficult times and situations will arise, so be prepared not only to endure, but to fight your way through/ out. Practice the I.R.I.E.P. steps above. Lean on your support (family, friends, love ones, co-workers, associates), and examine your landscape for resources than can help you (financial, social, psychological, weight loss, etc.). It might not always be easy, but where there is a will, there is a way. Life is too short to do anything but dance while you have the chance.

Until the next time, make it a great week!

J. Junior II
12/8/2011

Motivational Tid Bits

Just a few thoughts and "tid-bits" to get your fall started right...

> First and foremost, life is never about the mistakes you make, have made, or will make way down the road. It's about the lesson(s) you take from them, and the journey they place you on. If a mistake placed you on the road to destruction, know that while mistakes can't be changed, the actions and/or results in/ of their aftermath can be altered. You write your own storyline. Plan and choose to write a successful one.

> Maximize your potential as an individual. Scan over your dreams, your hopes, and creative desires that you have. Don't let any hidden talents escape, and worse yet don't let any hidden talents sit unused. Your hidden/ unused talent(s) could be the things that bring you forward into a brighter era within your life. Don't be afraid to hone and fine tune your talents either. Everyday should be a day of betterment. Train yourself and your talents if necessary, give them the soil they need to grow.

> Know the different types of motivation and adjust accordingly. There are two general branches - intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation refers to the motivation driven by the interest in, or the enjoyment of the activity itself, rather than external pressures. Extrinsic is just as it would sound - a motivation that is derived from the external environment of an individual. For example; rewards, coercion, threats, prizes, and recognition. While not all extrinsic motivations are bad in nature, try to focus on the things that come more natural, and thus are likely intrinsic to you (internally based).

> Plan out a realistic timeline for your future, whether short-term or long term, and stick to it. This can give you internal motivation to accomplish whatever goals or complete whatever projects you have out there. This can also serve as a source of optimism if you're lacking.

> Always enable those who surround you if you plan to succeed yourself. You cannot have constant success if your growth stymies those around you. Growth should be done in conjunction. Growth amongst your surroundings will lend itself to more growth; whereas you growing yet breeding a stagnant atmosphere around you lends to your eventual upending.

> Remember that your struggles are polishing you up for a better place. Don't get distracted, distraught, or disorderly when things don't work out as they should. Unfortunately, they never do. With anything, expect the unexpected but don't let it bend you out of shape. Maintaining a positive attitude even in chaos usually makes the struggle not so bad, and makes it pass you by just a little faster. Keep your mood together and push forward.

> Comprehend, communicate, achieve, succeed. And as always, live unconquered despite your circumstance, not conquered because of.

- J. Junior II
9/21/2011

"Weathering The Storm" Timeline

As I push forward with my new manuscript project - which will carry the same name as this blog - I was excited to get an update on Weathering The Storm, which will allow me to offer a pretty firm timeline on it's production course.

Currently, WTS is in the copyediting phase, which will last about a month. Afterwhich, it will go through a three month period of conceptual editing. To kick off the new year, a cover will be designed, followed by two months of layout design. As spring nears, the book will be finalized, afterwhich I can begin the preliminary distribution of copies. While WTS won't yet be on the full market, books will be available through me and at any various events I hold (book signings, etc.). The book goes into a 90 day marketing phase, in which I work with the Publisher (Tate) to find my niche, build support, and ready all the markets for the "official release date". This gives Tate time to have copies ready for distribution once sales go mainstream. At the end of those ninety days, the book is officially released, and available in all major markets.

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Here's the timeline in a date format...

Copyediting - currently through the end of September.
Conceptual Edit - Phase I - October
Conceptual Edit - Phase II - November
Conceptual Edit - Phase III - December
Cover Design - January 2012
Layout Design Phase I - February 2012
Layout Design Phase II - March 2012
Book Finalized - on/ around April 15th, 2012 (copies available via me and/or my events such as book signings)
Book Marketing/ Preparation Phase - on/around April 15th, 2012 - July 15th, 2012
BOOK RELEASE DATE - on/ around July 15th, 2012
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These dates are not exactly set in stone, but a general timeline that will flex and flow as the production process moves forward, and give you a general idea of the "what/when" process for WTS. It may seem like a long time off, but I'm sure the time will fly by, especially as WTS nears its "birthday".

In the same time, I have also developed the timeline to complete the manuscript for "Live Unconquered", which will be the follow up to WTS and follow the scheme developed by this blog. I'm working now to draw out a frame for Live Unconquered, which could take a month or so. Afterwhich, I'll start filling the frame with the selected material, and give the manuscript a clear concept and message, all the while serving as a sequel to WTS. I'd like for the whole process to be done by the end of January, 2012. Once the manuscript is complete, I will begin the process of finding and selecting an appropriate/ compatible publisher (more than likely Tate) - and the production process will start all over again.

It'll be a lengthy but rewarding process, and I already can't wait for it to be complete. I'll keep working hard until that day...

JJR II
Keep Living Unconquered
9/8/11